WHEN THE NEGATIVES ARE WINNING

The negatives seem to always win; especially, when we are in a spiral of unhappiness, which prevents us from using our personal power to master our lifestyle. You have learned what negative emotions are, you have considered how you should look at your negative emotions from a more challenging perspective, but now you are seeking more answers to get rid of these emotions and start to move on in all aspects of your life. After you complete exercises, you generally feel upbeat, you feel you can attain the goals you have set, but over time the same cycle continues. The goals elude you and you fall into the despair, anger, or frustration you always experience. What more can you do when the negatives are always winning? The answer is in a method that helps individuals deal with various anxieties.

Psychoanalysis Psychoanalysis of the Negative Situations

Psychologists have specific worksheets they provide to individuals who suffer from anxiety, and these same techniques can work for you to get around your negative emotions and learn a better way to cultivate success. In an anxiety ridden situation, a person is heading into a panic attack due to fear. They react to the fear instead of combating it head on. The techniques psychologists teach are to realize the panic is setting in and redirect the mind. Here are the steps:

1.Write the situation down, in your case, it will be a recalling of the negative emotions. What was the situation, who was present? List the who, what, where, why, when, and how.

2.List your reaction.

3.Right five ways you could react better.

4.Repeat these steps each time the negative emotions occur. It sounds easy. But the learning comes from repeating this procedure every time you feel the negative emotions beating you. Let’s look at an example. The person went from calm to angry in ten minutes after assessing a changed situation with health insurance. The health insurance plan the person agreed to was changed to one costing double and without consulting the actual person carrying the health insurance. Trying to leave that behind the person needed to fill their prescription but was told to make a special trip to the pharmacy, waste time while they tried to run the insurance information, instead of taking the information over the phone. The anger won and tears resulted as the person tried to keep the emotions in check and ask for help.

Can you figure out ways the person might have handle the situation better? The situation happened on a weekend and no offices were open for calls to be made. This put a resolution out of the control of the individual discovering a huge and costly error. Instead of moving on to things that would not involve the troubling insurance, the person decided to tackle the important goal of the day—to get a prescription filled since it is a daily thyroid medication. Again, the situation turned into something that was out of the control of the person because the pharmacist could not tell the person whether or not they would take the insurance. Rather than letting things go, the anger and frustration came out, particularly due to the fact that no pharmacy in town could say with any knowledge whether the insurance would be taken. The thought “how can they not know” and “if they don’t then who should?” made the person angrier.

In such a situation, the person already knew one pharmacy had no answer and yet expected the second one to be more knowledgeable. Right there, the assumption caused the situation for the person to escalate with all the negative emotions turning to the one person on the phone that increased the frustration.

When a person continues to beat at a frustrating issue, with the expectation of a proper resolution as per their mind, it is increasing the negative emotions. The person should have said, “Thank you, I understand, but I would like to resolve this, and I have the information right in front of me. Can you please take it, work on it, and give me a call if you encounter issues,” instead of getting angry at the person on the phone. An even better solution would have been to wait to make the call, knowing that the answers may be unsatisfactory. The loss of control is where the person erred. They let the loss of control of the moment increase and attempted to regain control in a situation already set to decrease the control further. It would have been far better to move on to other tasks that would provide actual control, such as sweeping the floor. There are always tasks around us. Some of these tasks are quick and easy to accomplish, which can bring back the feeling of correctness. Here are several things that could have let the person calm down and reduce the feelings of anger: ● Cleaning

● Working on a project

●       Writing in a journal about the situation, the loss of control, the anger, and describing things to do while waiting for Monday. ● Talking with another person.

● Spending five or ten minutes watching

funny videos or playing a game. Any method one can devise to decompress from negative emotions, even if it is a five-minute

exercise is better than continuing in a situation you know will continue to feed the negative emotions. If you can learn to step back from yourself, take a calm breath, and assess a situation, you are going to discover there are ways to reduce your negative emotions. Some individuals are capable of doing this after a couple of weeks of practice and others take several months to adapt. It comes down to whether your emotions have always ruled you or whether you are more factual and analytical. For those who feel alive through their emotions, and like to keep those emotions on the surface, it can be harder to step back and reign in the negatives.